It is said that you can catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar, and nature shows that the soft overcomes the hard.
Water erodes the mountain and carves out craters while being soft and fluid against the hard resistance.
The softness of water overcomes the hardness of stone.
Such can be the case in times of trouble between people, yet we make it so difficult to do.
You must become the humble warrior, soft as water, to overcome the terrain of a hardened heart.
The pride of the heart must surrender in one for it to surrender in the other.
LIVING THE TAO: Today, I invite you to reflect on the first, second and third interpretations along with this fourth and ask, are there any shifts you are prepared to make today in relation to aligning with the art of living as shared in the Tao?
My 2018 focus is to intentionally live the Tao Te Ching. This is my fourth reading of Stephen Mitchell’s translation. I share my daily interpretations hoping to inspire you to do the same.
Embrace your journey. Experience bliss. Live the Tao.
Original image by Tania Fernandez on Unsplash.]]>
Have you ever had one of those kinds of days at work?
A while back I did. As positive as I was trying to be, on that day I was losing it. Thankfully, I had a friend who was a coach.
Coaching ethics dictate that when you’re having a regular conversation and you find yourself slipping into coaching mode, it should be announced. But not this day. I was breathing fire and there was no room for slipping anything. She jumped right in!
She helped me to explore the source of my frustration. Often times, frustration is not about what’s external. Instead it tends to be about what’s internal. We may think we are upset about something or someone “out there,” when really the source of the frustration is “in here.”
Deep down you feel powerless–powerless because you are unable to change the person because you cannot change people. That reality can be frustrating. But as my coach-friend helped me to remember it doesn’t have to be this way. It doesn’t have to be, because energy should not be wasted on wishing others to change. Instead your focus should go inward.
In times of breathing fire, focus on you. Ask, “What do I need to change about myself?” It may be your actions, your mindset or the story you are telling yourself. In my case it was my mindset. At the moment of insight, I remembered one of my favorite quotes from Wayne Dyer: when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
The anger lifted, the fire cooled and I felt better. The feeling of powerlessness was gone. As I reflected on the situation with my coach-friend, she celebrated my small win (against my ego) with a line I’ll never forget: “You pulled down your power Sheron!”
Since then, that has become my go-to line when frustration tries to set in, and today I share it with you. When you feel frustration rearing it’s head, adjust your focus and say, “I AM pulling down my power.”
If you’ve been inspired, please share your inspiration in the comments section and inspire others!
]]>Those were our thoughts. A friend of mine and I were spending hours complaining about our jobs.
Why didn’t we just find new jobs, you ask?
It’s complicated.
But because this went on for months, we had to develop methods to cope until one day we had a realization that was shared through text. The text went like this,
[The job] is a gift…YES! A gift! Yoga is about evenness of mind, no matter how frustrating the situation you find yourself. The practice of yoga is for the purpose of getting better at being in the moment and allowing it to simply be. [The job] is frustrating, ALL DAMN DAY! But the job is giving us the opportunity to practice being non-reactive. We have the opportunity 8 hours a day, 5 days a week to practice being in a calm state of mind, despite the foolishness.
We reflected on all the anger, disappointment and frustration we experienced the months before, all in the name of caring about the work, until we realized something else.
That was our egos!
Our egos were saying, “They are wrong and I am right,” “I know what to do. Why won’t they listen?” Our egos wanted to be validated, and called it caring about the work.
We soon learned that we could care in other ways. We could redirect our energy to projects we cared about even while we were still at that job. We learned that we needed to be our own change before we saw the change we wanted to see: a new environment!
Not long after our conversation and redirecting our energies, we found ourselves in work environments that we enjoyed much more.
We now believe that the 3 words we invoked at the moment frustration reared its head helped us to stay positive, stay productive, and practice evenness of mind.
If you find yourself in a job, or any other situation that frustrates you regularly, consider practicing evenness of mind with these three words: I AM peace.
Why?
The principal of the school where I worked at the time got on my nerves! I can’t remember what she did—it was probably my crazy belief that she was trying to control me—but I was steaming!
I drove from my job to my son’s school to pick him up and fussed the entire way.
Like it was yesterday, I can clearly recall the conversation I had with myself as I pulled into the parking lot of my son’s school.
Me: See, you can’t mess with people because you’ll never know who they’ll turn out to be. She doesn’t know who I’ll become. 10 years from now, she’ll see me somewhere and…(I paused because I heard the words coming out of my mouth.)
Myself: Sheron, 10 years from now? Really? Do you plan to be holding on to this 10 years from now?
Me: No.
Myself: Do you plan to be holding on to this 5 years from now?
Me: No.
Myself: Do you plan to be holding on to this 1 year from now?
Me: No.
Myself: Sheron, do you plan to be even holding on to this 1 month from now? I paused, then replied.
Me: Ummm, no.
Myself: Then if you don’t plan on holding on to this one month from now, why hold on to it now?
Wow. Myself shut me up!
I can laugh at myself now—and hopefully you got a good chuckle—because I was being immature. I was younger and my ego was the culprit.
We hope that as we grow older we mature, but unfortunately we can still fall prey to the ego and hold on to negative emotions only to do ourselves harm.
But here’s the thing: if we don’t care at all about the other person, we should at least care enough about ourselves to not bring harm to our heart and health by holding on to negative emotions. We should love ourselves enough to say, “Ego, you won’t win today!” And in doing so—in changing our disposition for our benefit—we ultimately, and without even trying, change our disposition toward the other person. In the end, we make the situation better for all involved, all because we made the choice to love ourselves in the present moment.
So, the next time you feel yourself holding on to that negative emotion toward someone who worked your nerves, take a deep breath, love yourself and say, “I AM love in this present moment.”
Image by marcolm at Freedigitalphotos.net
]]>There was a misunderstanding between a friend and I. He misinterpreted something I said and became angered very quickly. He held on to that anger longer that it would seem reasonable even after recognizing that he misinterpreted my actions.
Once we moved passed the situation we began to analyze the source of his anger. It was rooted in old beliefs about not being good enough and smart enough. We spent a bit more time talking and arrived at this: he had been subconsciously repeating a story to himself from the past and he needed to tell himself a new story.
I thought to share my experience with you because it occurred to me that maybe someone else out there needed to hear where he arrived because just maybe his self-realization would benefit another.
Here’s where he arrived: when he becomes angered, he will
- Admit to himself that he’s angry (awareness)
- Recognize that his anger is telling him something about himself (acceptance)
- Expose the old story and replace it with a new one (action)
He chose these 3 simple steps to reprogram his thinking to improve his relationship first with himself, and second with others.
If you connect with his story, then you’ll appreciate his new story and like him you should tell yourself: I AM intelligence!
If you can relate to my friend, I’d love to hear from you so share your inspiration below and inspire others. 