Why Hold On to It Now?

I found myself sitting in the school parking lot having a real back and forth conversation with myself.

Why?

The principal of the school where I worked at the time got on my nerves! I can’t remember what she did—it was probably my crazy belief that she was trying to control me—but I was steaming!

I drove from my job to my son’s school to pick him up and fussed the entire way.

Like it was yesterday, I can clearly recall the conversation I had with myself as I pulled into the parking lot of my son’s school.

Me: See, you can’t mess with people because you’ll never know who they’ll turn out to be. She doesn’t know who I’ll become. 10 years from now, she’ll see me somewhere and…(I paused because I heard the words coming out of my mouth.)

Myself: Sheron, 10 years from now? Really? Do you plan to be holding on to this 10 years from now?

Me: No.

Myself: Do you plan to be holding on to this 5 years from now?

Me: No.

Myself: Do you plan to be holding on to this 1 year from now?

Me: No.

Myself: Sheron, do you plan to be even holding on to this 1 month from now? I paused, then replied.

Me: Ummm, no.

Myself: Then if you don’t plan on holding on to this one month from now, why hold on to it now?

Wow. Myself shut me up!

I can laugh at myself now—and hopefully you got a good chuckle—because I was being immature. I was younger and my ego was the culprit.

We hope that as we grow older we mature, but unfortunately we can still fall prey to the ego and hold on to negative emotions only to do ourselves harm.

But here’s the thing: if we don’t care at all about the other person, we should at least care enough about ourselves to not bring harm to our heart and health by holding on to negative emotions. We should love ourselves enough to say, “Ego, you won’t win today!” And in doing so—in changing our disposition for our benefit—we ultimately, and without even trying, change our disposition toward the other person. In the end, we make the situation better for all involved, all because we made the choice to love ourselves in the present moment.

So, the next time you feel yourself holding on to that negative emotion toward someone who worked your nerves, take a deep breath, love yourself and say, “I AM love in this present moment.”

Image by marcolm at Freedigitalphotos.net